Women Can't Drive
Rule #1: Don't tell a woman that she can't drive, or that women in general are bad drivers.
They aren't! Plenty of men are terrible drivers, and plenty of women are terrible drivers. If most of the women in your life are bad drivers, you just have a really bad example to deal with, and it doesn't necessarily carry over to the rest of humanity.
Or maybe the women in your life are idiots! Who knows? If you're the type to generalize about women being bad drivers, it wouldn't be such a shock to find out that you associate with complete morons.
They aren't! Plenty of men are terrible drivers, and plenty of women are terrible drivers. If most of the women in your life are bad drivers, you just have a really bad example to deal with, and it doesn't necessarily carry over to the rest of humanity.
Or maybe the women in your life are idiots! Who knows? If you're the type to generalize about women being bad drivers, it wouldn't be such a shock to find out that you associate with complete morons.
Have You Gained Weight?
Rule #2: Never even imply that a woman is fat.
Don't do it, under any circumstances! Not even if:
If you find yourself getting ready to break this rule, clamp your mouth shut before it's too late! No woman wants to hear it, even if it's a compliment. If any of these statements are part of your normal conversation, drop them immediately:
Unless they gave you an STD. Then we need to know.
f-esteem because women are taught that being fat is basically the worst thing they can ever be.
Maybe they're too sensitive. Maybe they need to lighten up. But that isn't an excuse for you to be a disrespectful tool.
If you want to tease her, find another way. If she really is fat, get a life and find something more worthwhile to talk about. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Okay, Bambi?
Ew! How could you possibly think that's a good move? Even if a woman
does want to be just like her mother, she definitely doesn't want you to
be attracted to her mother!
Avoid all comparisons whatsoever. You never know what she does or doesn't like about her mom. She could love her sense of humor but hate her fashion sense! She could want to emulate her cooking abilities but loathe her parenting skills. If you don't comment on any of it, you're better off!
There are few things worse than comparing your girlfriend to your mother. Why? Well, since you asked:
The girl you're with is the hottest, sexiest person on the face of the earth. Okay, so she's obviously not,
but she wants to feel like you hold her above other women! Even if it's
someone completely harmless, like Angelina Jolie, I promise you that
your girl doesn't want to hear it.
It'll make her insecure. It'll make her jealous. Do you really want to have to deal with the behavior that stems from that?
Didn't think so.
Rule #7: Never ask a woman's age.
This one is pretty obvious, right? As women get older, they start to feel like their body is falling apart. They realize that their looks are deteriorating, and they much prefer to think that nothing has changed.
So when you comment on her age, or try to fish the information out of her, it's like pointing out that you've noticed she isn't as young as she once was. There are two alternatives that can help in talking about a woman's age:
Actually, don't tell her to do anything. Ask her,
like a decent human being! When you act like women are just put on the
earth to bring you things and sleep with you, you make her think you're
an abusive misogynist who uses aggressive and controlling behavior to
try to distract from the fact that you have a tiny penis.
Be a man. If you want a beer, use your legs and get it yourself. If you want a sandwich, get your butt off of the couch and head to the kitchen. If you really want her to make one for you because she has much better culinary skills, ask her nicely.
Otherwise, you deserve to never get laid again. And that may be exactly what you get.
Come on, guys! You should know better than this by now. Women like to
feel special, and one way to let them know that they mean a lot to you
is to call them by their name. It's an easy way to show that you care!
But on the flip side, calling her by the wrong name will show her that you couldn't care less, and/or that you're confusing her for someone else. Not cool! Learn her name, and use it correctly. Trust me on this; she'll really appreciate it.
In this day and age, far too many men think it's reasonable to request nude pictures prior to a first date. Heck, guys on the Internet think it's okay to do this before you've even met in real life!
No. It's not okay. It's incredibly far from okay, actually.
Newsflash: women have no interest in seeing a picture of your penis. It's not sexy. Is your main goal right now to drive women away with pictures of your junk? Is that the reaction you want them to have? Save it for later. Like, you know, when you actually know each other's names.
Don't do it, under any circumstances! Not even if:
- She's bone thin.
- It's a joke.
- She really is fat.
- She just called you fat.
I've Dated a Lot of Women
Rule #3: Don't talk about the women from your past, and especially don't compare your current lady to them!
If you find yourself getting ready to break this rule, clamp your mouth shut before it's too late! No woman wants to hear it, even if it's a compliment. If any of these statements are part of your normal conversation, drop them immediately:
- I've been with a lot of women.
- You're hotter than the last girl I dated.
- I'm a total stud.
- Don't worry. I've been with bigger women than you.
Unless they gave you an STD. Then we need to know.
Maybe they're too sensitive. Maybe they need to lighten up. But that isn't an excuse for you to be a disrespectful tool.
If you want to tease her, find another way. If she really is fat, get a life and find something more worthwhile to talk about. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Okay, Bambi?
You're Just Like Your Mother
Rule #4: Don't compare her to her mother.
Avoid all comparisons whatsoever. You never know what she does or doesn't like about her mom. She could love her sense of humor but hate her fashion sense! She could want to emulate her cooking abilities but loathe her parenting skills. If you don't comment on any of it, you're better off!
You're Just Like My Mother
Rule #5: Don't compare her to your mother.
- Again, it's hinting that you're attracted to your mother. Just say no!
- Women tend to have a complicated relationship with their mother-in-law.
- She may hate your mother but hasn't told you to spare your feelings.
She's So Hot
Rule #6: Don't talk about how hot another woman is.
It'll make her insecure. It'll make her jealous. Do you really want to have to deal with the behavior that stems from that?
Didn't think so.
How Old Are You?
Rule #7: Never ask a woman's age.
This one is pretty obvious, right? As women get older, they start to feel like their body is falling apart. They realize that their looks are deteriorating, and they much prefer to think that nothing has changed.
So when you comment on her age, or try to fish the information out of her, it's like pointing out that you've noticed she isn't as young as she once was. There are two alternatives that can help in talking about a woman's age:
- Guess that she's at least 10 years younger than she probably is.
- Don't bring it up at all.
Make Me a Sandwich
Rule #8: Don't tell her to make you a sandwich.
Be a man. If you want a beer, use your legs and get it yourself. If you want a sandwich, get your butt off of the couch and head to the kitchen. If you really want her to make one for you because she has much better culinary skills, ask her nicely.
Otherwise, you deserve to never get laid again. And that may be exactly what you get.
Call Her the Wrong Name
Rule #9: Don't call her by someone else's name.
But on the flip side, calling her by the wrong name will show her that you couldn't care less, and/or that you're confusing her for someone else. Not cool! Learn her name, and use it correctly. Trust me on this; she'll really appreciate it.
Do You Want a Picture of My Junk?
Rule #10: Don't ask to send her dirty pictures, and don't ask for her to send them to you.
In this day and age, far too many men think it's reasonable to request nude pictures prior to a first date. Heck, guys on the Internet think it's okay to do this before you've even met in real life!
No. It's not okay. It's incredibly far from okay, actually.
Newsflash: women have no interest in seeing a picture of your penis. It's not sexy. Is your main goal right now to drive women away with pictures of your junk? Is that the reaction you want them to have? Save it for later. Like, you know, when you actually know each other's names.
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